Wednesday, November 15, 2006
I'm really torn apart as there's this guy I know from internet told me that he love me after few times of msn-ing each other. I don't know that I really love him or not. I feel so bad for giving him hope for liking me but I can't stop someone who likes me. When he told me that he is willing to apply for leave for me if I want to go to Paris or Australia and he also says that he will buy Apple laptop for me and he says he really cared for me. He don't mind buying me those things but I don't it's real or not as there's a lot of liars out there in the real world. When he told me that he print my picture and put it on his study table. His roommate saw the picture and tease him at his working place. He even didn't went for work yesterday after the school connection got disconnected, he say he was so sad. When he saw my email, he says he's happy. So I'm torn apart. I ask my friend for advice when he asks me to be his GF. My friend say that it's a risky for having a long distant relationship. As I don't know him so well and who knows he's a cheater or what so ever. But I don't know whether I love him or not. When he told me that he love me, I feel a bit happy and I don't know, I really don't know I love him or not. When I reply him "I LOVE YOU" he says he is so happy.
Well, I really don't know about my feelings. Can someone guide me or tell me whether I should be his GF? When he told me he's not handsome, I told him "yes, he really not handsome" he seems heartbroken. But I can't help it as it's the truth. He sounds sad and when I told him what my friend had says, he seems more heartbroken. He told me when he saw what I write he don't know why he cried. And here's what he write to me in the email :
hello and hi... feel sorry if i`m say such words,,,i`m a bit emo when heard that you 50% 50% on me...i know i`m not good person ever,,,and maybe i`m not the one you dream of...i dunno using sweet words..but i know how to love someone...just now i feel sad so much and i feel worst...you make my tear fallen...you make me cry a lot....i`m sorry for everything...up to you if you want to leave me..thanks for 2 days became my GF..i`m happy a lot...i enjoyed these 2 days.....i wish i could rewind this life again and again....what just i can do ..i just normally person...i`m sorry for all....what i do....i dun want see you hurts a lot...i wan you happy...just ignore me...i can live with it..now i know i`m always a looser...have a happy day...bye
I walk a lonely roadThe only one I that have ever knownDon't know were it goesBut its home to me and I walk alone I walk this empty streetOn the Boulevard of broken dreamsWhere the city sleepsAnd I'm the only one and I walk alone I walk aloneI walk aloneI walk aloneI walk a... My shadows the only one that walks beside meMy shallow hearts the only thing that's beatingSometimes I wish someone out there will find meTill then I walk alone I'm walking down the lineThat divides me somewhere in my mindOn the border line of the edgeAnd were I walk alone Read between the lines of what'sFucked up and every things all rightCheck my vital signs to know I'm still aliveAnd I walk alone I walk aloneI walk aloneI walk aloneI walk a... My shadows the only one that walks beside meMy shallow hearts the only thing that's beatingSometimes I wish someone out there will find meTill then I walk alone I walk aloneI walk a... I walk this empty streetOn the Boulevard of broken dreamsWere the city sleepsAnd I'm the only one and I walk a.. My shadows the only one that walks beside meMy shallow hearts the only thing that's beatingSometimes I wish someone out there will find meTill then I'll walk alone! i love you where ever you are...KhaySlay
When I saw his email, my heart a bit broken and I doesn't know that I really did hurt him. I do really feel like crying when I read what he write for me. Now he makes me think back should I accept him or not. Can You give me sometime and think about? I really hope that you will give me sometime to think over about it.
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4:55 PM
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